Copywriting tips from The Zohan: Make it 'silky-smooth'

I’m going to be all over the place today, so see if you can follow along with me here.

Last night we took the kids to see the new Adam Sandler movie, “You Do Not Want To Mess With The Zohan.” It was funny as hell, as long as you like modern slap-stick provocative guy humor. And it would also probably be a great model for how middle-eastern relations could be, if everyone was willing to put all the hatred and years of “stuff” behind them.

Zohan’s goal in life, was to make everyone’s hair “silky-smooth,” which… is how your sales copy should read, so today I’m gonna show you a slick trick to make “silky-smooth” copy easier for you.

This morning I was reading a book called “How It All Began,” by Maurice Baren. It’s a book filled with short one or two page anecdotal and quirky information about how some very well-known consumer companies were founded. There are lots of interesting stories in there about the founders of these companies and how serendipity played a major role in their destiny. And, how their ability to see the glass half-full instead of half-empty, allowed them to change their lives, and ultimately the lives of literally the rest of the world.

I also like the book because there’s tons of old ads in there, and I enjoy studying old ads. In fact, in my library I have no less than a couple thousand pages worth of old display ads.

Old ads were much more copy-intensive and relied on the message to sell their product, as opposed to most modern ads, which rely on a picture, or some sort of meaningless “cute” quote that doesn’t mean anything to anyone other than the owner of the company.

In one of these ads, from the early 1900’s — mid 1920’s if I had to estimate — an ad for SC Johnson Wax reads like this: “Even those spots that you thought were permanent will disappear like magic under Johnson’s Cleaner.”

Want to know how to make this copy silky-smooth?

O.K., try this: “Even those spots that you thought were permanent, disappear like magic under Johnson’s Cleaner.”

Look carefully, can you spot the difference?

Yep, I got rid of the word “will.” In many cases, when you tell someone something “will” happen, it’s not tangible enough to make it compelling.

It implies there’s a work process involved and that they don’t get what they want until they do something. You want to sell in such a way that intimates the process you want them to go through does the work for them and makes the benefit materialize.

Here, see for yourself:

“This will eliminate your back pain,” versus… “This completely eliminates your back pain.”

See the difference?

Sp get rid of “will”… and make it silky-smooth, like The Zohan.

Now go sell something, Craig Garber

P.S. Just finished writing this month’s issue of Seductive Selling. Inside, you’ll see another copywriting strategy that shows you the fastest way to get good at writing copy – even if you’re a newbie. Check it out and get your 30-day free trial (along with 15 free gifts — watch the video) at

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About the Author

Craig GarberAuthor of "How To Make Maximum Money With Minimum Customers, " and publisher of Seductive Selling - an offline marketing newsletter currently read in 15 countries, world-wide. In a nutshell, I do two things: 1. I show you how to attract a reliable, steady stream of pre-qualified leads who are ready to do business with you NOW... 2. And I increase your net profits and cash-flow, by increasing your customer, client, or patient value -- often, dramatically. How do I do this? By developing, and helping you implement, unique, personalized lead generation and marketing strategies... using compelling sales messages that push your customers emotional buy-buttons. I've worked with over 300 clients in more than 104 different industries, since March of 2000, and I really enjoy what I do. I'm a stable, reliable, happily married family guy with three kids who loves life and always follows through on my commitments and promises. I love to listen to music, workout, read, travel with my family, take pictures, and go bass fishing. I always say "Yes," when it comes to good cigars, good books, and good coffee :-)