Sega: Prevents Masturbation!

Wow, thank God for Sega for saving us all.  As you know, since masturbation causes blindness… Sega single handedly saved the entire male race (not because women don’t masturbate, but because they don’t play video games) by giving us “something else” to do with our hands instead of fondling our genitals 24-7.

As you know, Sega is up there with many other cool life-saving, sexual behavior-altering devices, like:

Gossip magazines, which saved women from masturbating.

Bagels and Lox, which diverted Jews from having sex through a sheet.

CNN, which gave people over 50 something to do in bed, since they no longer have sex.  And…

Condoms, which make sex feel so clinical and un-intimate, you don’t want to have it and therefore you won’t get pregnant.

Seriously though, it takes “balls” to run an ad like this, doesn’t it?