From now on, on Fridays I’m going to try and offer you something that’s going to be more entertaining than anything else. After all, for as long as I can remember, ever since grade school, Friday’s had some kind of excitement and alluring enthusiasm about the upcoming weekend — even if you didn’t have anything particularly exciting planned for the weekend itself.

Today, I want to tell you a story about something that could ONLY happen in New York.

So the New York City Parks Department workers were dredging parts of The Lake in Central Park, and it was reported that they were startled to discover more than 5,000 massive carp “lurking” in the shallows.

No call me stupid, but spare change “lurks” between the cushions of your couch… and peeping Tom’s “lurk” behind buildings down alleyways… and often, online forum members “lurk” on a forum without actually saying something.

But how in the hell can 5,000 fish — BIG fish (some of these Carp they found were 3 feet long, weighing 30 pounds each) — be “lurking” in the shadows. That’s like saying your grand piano is lurking over in the corner of your room, you know what I mean?

Anyway, while these fish were pulled out of the lake (I guess 5,000 Carp is one too many lurkers), the dredging also stirred up several enormous snapping turtles – some as big as 50 pounds – and plenty of freshwater clams.

And you thought all New York City had were pushy people and good pizza…

Have a good weekend.

Now go sell something, Craig Garber

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