A humble lesson on (true) friendship.
Perhaps I should call this one, “Confessions of a lonely copywriter.” Here goes:
The older people get, the more unlikely they are to get married. That’s because the more time they spend alone, the more time they’re used to being alone.
Human nature is funny like that. Your habits dictate and permeate every aspect of who you are and what you do.
I recently had a bit of a wake up call, that’s told me I need to get out more and get out of my own isolated existence. It’s very easy, with the workload I have, and with the kind of work ethic I have, to simply sit here at my desk, literally all day long.
Some days, if I don’t go to the gym, and I’m buried with work, I’ll sit here without moving, without speaking to anyone, and embarrassingly enough, without even taking a shower. This has been happening far too much lately, and I’m really looking forward to going to New York next week for a Thanksgiving getaway.
I can’t wait to put my little girl up on my shoulders and have her watch the floats go by.
Anyway, I was reminded of all this, not by watching anything, but by a very close friend of mine. In fact, one of the few people I can genuinely call a friend.
He laced into me for not contacting him about something I needed help with. And when someone gets aggravated at you for that — especially someone who has absolutely no agenda other than helping you — if you’re awake, you’re going to sit up and realize something’s wrong in your wiring.
And something is definitely wrong in mine. See, I’ve been a bootstrapper my whole life. Pulled myself up from literally nothing, climbed out of an abusive home when I was a kid, and made something out of myself.
Have a great family, really and truly an absolutely wonderful wife, again overcame loads of obstacles to get there. Won a long-term custody battle to raise my sons, back in the late 1990’s — again, wasn’t easy. Bankruptcy 1997, HUGE turnaround there compared to today.
Shit, I even have great pets!
But notice all these things. See the habit that’s been created?
These are all lonely struggles mired deep in isolation and intensity. And while being able to fire up the intensity and fight the good fight is an incredibly valuable asset, my good friend reminded me there’s more to life than just this.
Don’t get me wrong, the self-satisfaction you get out of doing things yourself, is wonderful. But the big component of connecting with someone, if overlooked too long, grinds you down.
I need to get out more and get more social contacts. I need to leave the house for more than just going to the gym. And I need to treasure and enjoy valuable friendships, not feel awkward to ask help.
Because in reality… isn’t that… what friends are for?
Now go sell something, Craig Garber
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