The Twilight Zone, Revisited.
Dear Friend,
Holy crap, it's September 1st already!
Can you believe?
Another week or so and they'll be selling Christmas cards down at your local Hallmark.
Sheesh!
And WOW -- I must have hit a nerve or something, because yesterday's e-mail about people who have nothing to offer you and whose only existence seems to be to suck the life out of you, mus have struck a chord, because I sure got more than my fair share of replies.
Most of them were like this, from Nik Thakorlal in Australia:
"Thanks so much for such timely advice about time suckers...
Anyways, it's a real battle everyday to start OPERATION MONEYSUCK...
Whoever wrote the 'Twilight zone' email is an idiot because your daily messages are without doubt the BEST on the web as far copywriting is concerned and I have learnt a lot from you (and I've learnt from Halbert, Carlton, Joyner, Fortin and Bencivenga in the last 4 months)...
As far I'm concerned your daily emails are the most practical pieces of wisdom... and your emails are to the point, short and hard-hitting.
Keep 'em comin'
Nik"
And believe me, I appreciate when you take the time and effort to give me feedback on what you're thinking about -- hey, I love a pat on the back just as much as you do!
By the way, before we forge ahead with today's tip, at my upcoming Information Marketing Seminar in London -- http://www.kingofcopy.com/informationmarketingexpo -- I am going to be hosting a special event in the evening and I will tell you the one and ONLY thing you must do, if you want to be successful, yet, you find yourself continuously having to deal with time-wasters in your life and in your business. Believe me, you won't want to miss this one either -- I will be in rare form, that's for sure.
Anyhow, here's one more dingbat who wrote in a while ago.
I actually pulled this one out of my "junk" file just to serve it up to you for today's blue-plate special.
Check this nimrod out:
"Craig,
*
*Nice web site. I saw your name listed on one of the great *copywriters of all time, on the Warrior Forum. How come I
have *never heard of you? Where did you learn your craft? I am *currently investigating a career change to copywriter.
What's *it like? High pressure? Unresonable deadlines? Nasty
clients? *Great money?
*
*How long have you been writing copy?
*
*Thanks very much!
*
*Best wishes,"
(God, I am sooo tempted to use this guy's name, you wouldn't believe!)
Let's stop and see what's going on here for just a moment.
This complete stranger who I've never met before, basically wants to pick my brain about what it's like to be a professional copywriter.
And I guess in his mind, since my time... experience... and expertise, aren't worth anything, he wants me to give him a very detailed answer -- heck, maybe he even wants to go out to dinner with Anne and I on Saturday night to discuss it, I don't know -- but in any case, he wants lots of information.
Now before I go any further, let me ask you this:
How do you think a New York City Park Avenue lawyer would react to this situation?
I can tell you how they'd react -- they'd tell this guy to take a flying leap off the newly designed rooftop at Grand Central Station, that's what they'd do.
But not me. I didn't act like that.
I just tried to be as professional and "nurturing" about this as possible. I was hoping to teach this young lad a little marketing lesson, which... he... simply didn't "pick up" on.
Here, check this out:
"Hey XXX,
Thanks for your e-mail.
I really appreciate your comments but with all the mail I get daily, and with the incredible amount of work I've got going (along with all my own projects) the only possible way I can give you any guidance, is via a paid consultation. (http://www.kingofcopy.com/consulting)"
Now let's pause here again.
What am I doing here?
I'm letting him know that we're in this game to make money. And that if he wants a serious answer, he's going to have to pay for it.
Which... the last time I checked, is how things work, no?
After all -- he contacted me asking for help, I didn't contact him offering free advice and then try to "back door" him for some cash.
He's the one who wants a career change, not me.
So let's press on with the rest of my very honest-to-goodness response:
"If you'd like me to help you out and give you candid guidance here, you can book an hourly consult with me. (http://www.kingofcopy.com/consulting)
My current rate is $400 bucks an hour, and you can pay by credit card if you want to.
I've got testimonials on my site, and I've attached another one that just came in yesterday or the day before, that I haven't had the chance to post yet.
Let me know if you're interested and we can set up a time that's convenient for us, and I'll tell you everything you need to know.
Right now you're looking at late next week, earliest -- as far as time goes.
Again, thanks for your e-mail XXX and take care.
All the best, Craig"
So far so good, right?
Is there anything I said that wasn't clear... or that was misleading... or... that was disrespectful in any way?
Wasn't I polite and didn't I acknowledge him properly?
Well... apparently not in his mind! Because here's what he came back with:
"Craig,
You don't charge anywhere near what my clients pay for my time. I book no less than one full day at the discounted rate of $3,600 USD, which does not include travel or expenses. Of course my line of work is a little different from yours. If I am asked to speak or present the price goes up drastically. You get what you pay for, I guess. ;o)
Thank you for your reply. I think I now understand why I had not heard of you, until your name came up on the Warriors Forum. I am currently working with XXX XXX, who is local and more reasonably priced. He answers questions for free. I guess it's good for business or something like that. Or maybe he has more time?
Good luck to you. I hope things work out for you financially. I got your message loud and clear. I will not contact you again."
What an a-hole, no?
I wonder how much of what this guy actually said is even true! Here, let's look deeper:
"You don't charge anywhere near what my clients pay for my time. I book no less than one full day at the discounted rate of $3,600 USD, which does not include travel or expenses."
Great. That means he can definitely afford me and he can appreciate the value of good service. At the same time, that's kind of a weird way to "come back" -- what relevance does this have to what he asked me?
And if he's making this much, let's call a spade a spade here:
Why Is He So Interested In A Career Change?
"Of course my line of work is a little different from yours. If I am asked to speak or present the price goes up drastically. You get what you pay for, I guess. ;o)"
Okay... so now we're seeing "just" a little hostility here -- maybe he's got some unresolved issues about his relationship with his father, that he needs help working through. Maybe his mom never breast-fed him or something.
Whatever.
But I can appreciate that -- we all have our own things going on.
"Thank you for your reply. I think I now understand why I had not heard of you, until your name came up on the Warriors Forum. I am currently working with XXX XXX, who is local and more reasonably priced. He answers questions for free. I guess it's good for business or something like that. Or maybe he has more time?
Good luck to you. I hope things work out for you financially. I got your message loud and clear. I will not contact you again."
Gosh, what a loser attitude.
Okey dokey, so... what're the big lessons for today.
Number One: Time Wasters are also usually DEAD BROKE.
Figure it out: if you're busy making money, you're usually w-a-a-y too busy to waste time, and for the most part, you're generally a pretty happy camper.
Listen, I'll be the first one to admit -- when I've been broke in the past -- I'm a little edgy. That's just a simple fact of life, and we've all been there.
Number Two: People who are supposedly good at marketing for others, may NOT necessarily be good at marketing themselves!
And here's why: If you knew the person who this nimrod was speaking to for "free", you'd crap in your drawers. It's someone who has published several books, and is well-known in east coast copywriting circles, and it's someone who makes himself look "bullet proof".
It's also someone who's been writing copy for a L-O-O-N-G time -- someone who has enough "clout" that he should NEVER EVER be working for free -- or so you'd think. And the fact that he's answering questions for "angry man" over here, doesn't say much for him.
And number three: Time-wasters who want to take you out into their own Twilight Zone, will never ever pay you even one thin dime!
See how this guy was all nice and everything when he thought I'd hook him up for free, but once he found out I'm not the Salvation Army, he immediately turned on me like a jilted lover or something?
That is very typical, and that's also why, I sometimes file e-mails like this, in a little folder called...
"Potential Nuts"
Submitted for your approval, in... The Twilight Zone.
Now go sell something,
Craig Garber
Any comments?
Send them to me by scooting over to the contact form on my "Here's How To Contact Craig" page, and maybe I'll publish them -- I appreciate your feedback!
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