Motor Oil, Dummy!

Dear Friend,

When I was 12 years old growing up in my apartment building in the Bronx, one afternoon I hopped in the elevator, and much to my surprise, I saw the building maintenance worker, "cleaning" the paneling on the sides of the elevator, using...

Motor Oil!

I asked him why he was doing this, and he said, "Because my boss told me so."

At the time, all I could imagine was when his boss told him to go and scrub the elevators, the poor shnook asked him, "What should I use to clean the elevator, boss?"

The boss, probably being sarcstic, turned around, and said something like "What do you think you use?  Motor oil, dummy."

And this is a lesson for you.

Well, actually, it's two lessons.

The first lesson of course, is that age-old adage about when you assume, you make an ass out of YOU and ME.

The num-nutz boss, of course, assumed his underling knew you clean elevators with elevator cleaner or whatever, when the simple truth was, the maintenance worker had no idea what to use.

Maybe he was new on the job?

Maybe he had only worked in walk-up apartment buildings before this (one's that don't have elevators -- just staircases)?

Maybe he just hadn't taken the elevator cleaning refresher class in training?

Who knows?

But the point is, never assume your prospect knows ANYTHING that may be relevant to your sale or to your sales pitch.

In fact, assuming your prospect actually knows ANYTHING, is at times, a very costly assumption, and it's one I always see being made when I'm doing sales copy reviews -- http://www.kingofcopy.com/salescopyreview

Why would you jeopardize a critical selling point, becuase you "assume" your prospect is as on the ball as the should be?

Listen Bubba, let's get real here:

How Many People Do You Actually Speak To, Who Are As On The Ball As They Should Be?

Maybe I'm living in an alternative reality or something, but in my world, the answer to that question is "few and far-between."

So why would you blatantly stack the odds against you, by "assuming" your prospects are on top of it, in your sales copy?

Why wouldn't you just be thorough and say what you need to say?

If they understand you already, they won't think you're wasting their time -- and if they don't know what you're talking about, well then... you might actually wind up selling something!

Tomorrow I'll tell you the second lesson you can learn from my toothless friend, the guy who was cleaning my elevator.

But before I run, let me ask you a question, because it's something I find hard to "swallow", and in this case, I DO actually mean "swallow".

As strange as it is to clean the elevator with motor oil, I find it equally strange that my "new best friend" -- the water treatment guy -- has me dunping 2 cups of Clorox into my water treatment system every month.

Now, when it comes to water treatment systems, and living on a lake, frankly, that's one of those things I'm on a "need to know" basis about.

And in this case, all I "need to know" is how to turn the faucets on.

But I am a little bit "stumped" by the Clorox thing. 

Now according to him (and he really is a very good guy), the FDA says you can eat clorox (as opposed to "straight" bleach), but the "heath nut" in me says that somehow, after 20 or 30 years or so...

All That Clorox Has Got To Have SOME Impact On Your Body, No?

So do me a favor -- if you know a little more about this stuff than I do (which is anything more than "zero"), shoot me an e-mail and put my mind at ease, O.K.?

Because it would be very ironic, if somewhere down the road I've traded my lower intestine for...

"Clean" water.

Wouldn't it?

Thanks, I really appreciate that.

Now go sell something,

Craig Garber

P.S. Want to know what else you need to do to boost your direct-mail response rates?  Go here to find out immediately: http://www.KingOfCopy.com/consulting

Any comments?

Send them to me by scooting over to the contact form on my "Here's How To Contact Craig" page, and maybe I'll publish them -- I appreciate your feedback!

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