Moo Goo Gai Upchuck
Dear Friend,
First off, because of the crazy demand (that I'm loving) I'm extending the free shipping offer on "22 Ways To Completely Eliminate ALL Your Marketing Problems Right Now!" for one more day -- but tomorrow is DEFINITELY the last day -- so go here right away to order: http://www.kingofcopy.com/22ways/christmasgift.html
So last night I got held hostage by my older son Nick and his buddies.
He has a couple of friends visiting him from South Florida, and after I picked them up from Bush Gardens, they all wanted to go to the "New" China Buffet Restaurant.
Now I haven't been to a buffet since I got married. When we were on our honeymoon, at the Ritz Carlton in the Big Island of Hawaii (I think it's since been converted to a Four Seasons hotel, or maybe even something else, but I know it's not there any more as a Ritz-Carlton.), I had a breakfast buffet, consisting of purely authentic Japanese and Hawaiian foods, and I was doubled over in pain, not one... but two days in a row.
Yes, it was such a good experience, I went back for round two.
And even though everything on the menu was healthy -- if you eat too much you're going to feel sick -- regardless of what you're eating.
This "New" China Buffet, however, was a totally different story.
The food was literally the worst food I've eaten in perhaps my entire life.
They had fried wontons laying around that looked and felt like those little slices of old black rubber tires you often see lying on the side of the highway, after they peel off tractor-trailers.
The seafood combination was a combination alright -- of what, I have no idea.
And the Moo Shu Vegetables looked like somthing that got ran over by a vehicle, then scraped off the sidewalk and dumped into the pan.
I took a few bites, and cringed -- wondering to myself -- "What kind of people eat here?"
So I began looking around the room, and then... I realized where I really was:
I Was In The Land of Girth And Plenty!
I think I was the only adult in that place with a waistline less that 50" inches around.
The diners in that place had more "chins" than a Chinese phone-book... more "rolls" than a German bakery... and more "spare tires" than they have down at the Hillsborough County dump.
And the food was simply so awful that anyone who goes in there outght to be apologizing to their body for the abuse they're about to put it through.
After the "meal" if you want to call it that... we're driving home and a few minutes down the road my youngest son Casey says, "Dad I have to throw up.... But don't worry, I can hold it in."
That Was The Kiss Of Death!
Not him telling me he had to throw up, but telling me he "could hold it in." See, kid's aren't like the stock market, where past performance doesn't necessarily reflect what's going to happen in the future.
With kids, past performance is a dead giveaway for what's going to happen in the future.
So once he told me he could hold it in, I immediately pulled over and made him exit -- I knew we only had seconds to take care of this.
And then, as sure as your Swiss watch can be relied on to keep time accurately... and as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west... Casey began hurling, the second his feet hit the ground.
There are two lessons to learn from this -- no... actually there are three lessons:
One, people who want low prices usually care nothing about value, and those are the customers you want to stay away from. Let them feast at the bad buffet while you enjoy filet mignon and your favorite wine.
Two, you really DO attract customers based on what you put out -- both your actual product and service, and your "vibes". If you give good value and great products, you'll get great customers and be able to charge a premium for them.
And three, behavior, whether it's your children's or your prospect's -- rarely changes. So if you know this, use that knowledge to craft compelling sales letters and irresistible offers.
Now go sell something,
Craig Garber
Any comments?
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| “Craig Garber is America's top direct-response copywriter. Join the ranks of Garber's swelling list of global VIP's who subscribe to his unconventional weekly marketing moments, and discover how to dramatically boost your sales and improve the response to your sales copy, on his website at http://www.kingofcopy.com. Copyright © Craig Garber. All rights reserved.” |