How to breeze right
through your sales copy!

Dear Friend,

Don't forget to enter the headline contest I'm having, and get your shot at winning $100 dollars off your next sales copy review -- www.kingofcopy.com/salescopyreview -- or your next consulting appointment -- www.kingofcopy.com/consulting .

I am extending the voting period two more days, until next Tuesday, and the winner will be announced ONE WEEK from today.

Entries haver been steadily pouring in every day now -- so why not submit yours?

The contest rules are here:

http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/ad_contest_071505.htmll

Today we'll take a look at the fourth paragraph of our contest display ad.

You can check out that original ad out, and even print out a copy of it, right here:

http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/real_estate_ad_071505.html

This fourth paragraph says,

"My team does absolutely no cold-calling or traditional prospecting, but instead are given dozens of motivated, ready-to-act leads every single week. All of our customers pick up the phone to call us first."

Good things about this:  The "intent" of this paragraph is good, but it is so poorly delivered, the meaning and benefits of it are diluted and not very compelling at all.

Listen, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times:

Your prospect could care less about "you" and "your team". 
They care about themselves, and what's in it for them.

The way this ad is written, it is becoming more evident, this is more of an employment ad than anything else.

This guy is a broker, and he's looking to build up his team of agents.

That's fine, but when you're reading the ad, and you're thinking about responding to it, all you're concerned with, is... "what's in it for me", not what's in it for him and his team.

Right?

Here's what I might've said instead:

"Using this amazing new system, called "The Real Estate Buyers And Sellers Automatic Attraction System", you will never ever have to make even one single cold call, ever again... you can give up "hoping"... "praying" ... and yes, let's face it -- even "begging" for business... and every single prospect who calls you will not only be pre-disposed to working with you, but they will already be pre-qualified based on the kinds of clients you want to deal with, or the kinds of properties you specialize in working with.  Plus, all these new customers of yours -- will work with you exclusively."

Now there is a LOT of psychology going on here, and these are the kinds of things I show you when you order a Sales Copy Review -- www.kingofcopy.com/salescopyreview .

Why you use certain kinds of words in a certain place, or why you're positioning yourself this way and that, and where you use your words to achieve maximum effectiveness using minimum sales copy.

So, let's check out how our ad reads so far and you can see we're just breezing on through here.

"If you are a highly motivated real estate agent with a burning desire to increase your commissions by AT LEAST $100,000 dollars in the next six months -- regardless of what level you're at now -- and if you're sick and tired of dealing with buyers and sellers who really aren't as sincere as you felt they were up-front... and you've had it "up to here" with people trying to whittle your commissions down to practically nothing... then this is the most exciting and important message you will ever read!

You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find your next seller, using this system... your
sellers end up being the one's hoping they can find you!

It's true! Whether you're a rookie, and you've just passed your realtors licensing exam, or even if you've been at it for years, and you've already got a good "following", imagine how much better your business would be (and
therefore, how much better your entire life would be), if... instead of having to look for your next "meal ticket", you had a turnkey system that automatically turned you into a prospect-attracting magnet!

Using this amazing new system, called "The Real Estate Buyers And Sellers Automatic Attraction System", you will never ever have to make even one single cold call, ever again... you can give up "hoping"... "praying" ... and yes, let's face it -- even "begging" for business... and every single prospect who calls you will not only be pre-disposed to working with you, but they will already be pre-qualified based on the kinds of clients you want to deal with, or the kinds of properties you specialize in working with.  Plus, all your new customers will work with you exclusively."

Have a great weekend -- we'll wrap this ad up next week.

Hasta la vista, baby.

Craig Garber

P.S. Want a fast and easy way to figure out how to pich your latest project?  Here's a sure-fire fix: www.KingOfCopy.com/consulting

Any comments?

Send them to me by scooting over to the contact form on my "Here's How To Contact Craig" page, and maybe I'll publish them -- I appreciate your feedback!

You can reprint, or link to this article, or to any article on this web site, as long as you include the following text-box:

“Craig Garber is America's top direct-response copywriter.  Join the ranks of Garber's swelling list of global VIP's who subscribe to his unconventional weekly marketing moments, and discover how to dramatically boost your sales and improve the response to your sales copy, on his website at http://www.kingofcopy.com. Copyright © Craig Garber.  All rights reserved.”

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