Friday’s Finale: Be careful what you wish for...

On Monday I’ll finish my story about my trip to Orlando. I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback about the “lighter” e-mails on Friday so we’ll stick with these for a while. Here’s today’s story:

An attractive young lady from New York City was so depressed she made up her mind to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. So she goes down to the docks, and is just about to leap into the icy cold water, when a handsome young sailor comes by.

He saw her crying, and suddenly felt very sorry for her. "Why are you doing this? You have so much to live for," he says. “Look, my ship is sailing to the Mediterranean in the morning, and if you'd like, I can stow you away, and you can get off and get a fresh start in Greece. It is beautiful there."

"The only thing is, we can’t tell the Captain, because he'd get upset and order you off the ship, and throw me in the penn if he found out."

"But don’t worry. I'll take good care of you," said the sailor, "I'll bring you food every day. I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl agreed. After all, what did she have to lose?

Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning?

So that evening the sailor threw a ladder over the back of the boat, so the girl could sneak on board. Quickly, he hid her under a tarp inside a life boat, and from then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches, a few bottles of water, and some fruit... and they made passionate love until dawn.

However, two weeks later during a surprise inspection, the Captain discovered her!

"What are you doing here?" said the Captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of your sailors," she explained honestly. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he gets to screw me."

"He certainly is screwing you," the Captain said, "this is the Staten Island Ferry."

The moral of the story is... be careful what you wish for. Sometimes things really aren’t as bad as they seem.

Oh, and a few people guessed it right -- the man who is disliked here in America FAR more than O.J. Simpson, is none other than George W. Bush.

Now go sell something, Craig

P.S. This month’s Audio Success CD is with Terry Wygal -- a VERY successful entrepreneur from Houston, Texas who has more streams of income coming in than a showerhead has streams of water! Discover how he takes his customers online from offline, and then communicates with them in both ways, when you take a fre.e test-drive of my offline Seductive Selling Newsletter right here: http://www.kingofcopy.com/ssnl

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What kind of question does a $300 Million Dollar man ask?

I get a lot of questions about this one. It’s something I’ve addressed many times, but admittedly, it’s confusing to say the least. So here goes...

You know, one of the greatest headlines I’ve ever seen was in the form of a question. The question read, “Is This Food Dangerous To Your Health?”

Why is this headline so incredible?

Let’s take a look: for starters, it provokes an incredible amount of curiosity for almost anyone, but most definitely for people concerned about health and wellness -- which is the target market for this ad.

Second, EVERYONE who is interested in this product will have to answer “Yes” to the question, and this is one of the hard and fast rules about using questions in your headline, as a matter of fact.

If you can’t answer “yes” to the question, and you’re in the target marketplace, then it’s NOT a good headline.

So for example, the question “Do you like oranges?” would NOT be a good headline here, because although SOME of the folks who are in this target market (health and wellness) will surely say “yes,” MANY of them will say “no.”

So if you want to use a question, your question really needs to meet two standards: One, the answer to the question has to be answered “Yes” by everyone in your marketplace. Two, you want your question to provoke and arouse as MUCH intense curiosity as possible within your marketplace itself.

And three, you also want your question to dis-qualify as many people as possible. Meaning this: ALL the folks who answer the question with a “No” -- should NOT be part of your marketplace. This is basically the inverse to the first rule, but it’s also a standalone rule in and of itself.

Got it?

O.K., now listen -- the person who wrote the “Is This Food Dangerous To Your Health?” headline, is my good friend Christian Godefroy. Christian has been a successful publisher, copywriter, and self-help author in Europe, for over 35 years now, and he’s sold well in excess of over $300 Million dollars of goods and services, AND... Christian is actually this month’s Audio Success CD of the month interview! I interviewed Christian while sitting in his living room in his beautiful Oceanside home in Portugal, and the things he revealed were outstanding.

Here’s what Erik Johnson from Newark, California had to say: “By the way, I got the August newsletter yesterday. The Christian Godefroy interview is pure gold.”

Christian is not only a dear friend of mine, but he’s also a mentor and someone I look up to and respect -- and those folks have been few and far between in my life, so if you have even an INKLING of a desire to improve your marketing AND your life, then JUMP on this last chance to listen to Christian Godefroy, by taking a FREE test-drive of my offline Seductive Selling Newsletter -- and get a TON of bonus gifts to boot (including TWO FREE marketing critiques!), right here: http://www.kingofcopy.com/ssnl

(Take a look at those nice new graphics on top of the page too!)

Now go sell something, Craig

P.S. One of my clients recently struck “paydirt” with a mailing that pulled in over $218 for every one dollar he spent. Read about his story, right here, at http://www.BriansIncredibleJourney.com

How Do Those Euro Guys Do It?

How do those European men do it?

They always manage to look so graceful and slick, regardless of what they’re doing. I mean, I’m about as graceful as an elephant in an elevator, so perhaps my standard of comparison here isn’t really fair, but you see this all the time.

Here’s what made me think of this: Last week when I was in New York City, the weather was beautiful, and so one day we all headed over to Central Park, just to lie in the grass and relax. There were families all over the place -- The Great Lawn and Sheep’s Meadow was PACKED! You’d have thought there was a concert going on out there -- or else maybe someone was passing out loose joints at no charge!

But no, it was just the sunny warm weather, which is a rarity in the Big Apple, especially lately.

Anyway, I saw a dad playing soccer out there with his children. Now if this was me, I’d have had gym shorts and a t-shirt on, probably with a sweat-stained baseball cap.

But this guy -- who was from Europe -- looked like a fashion model or something. Expensive pressed jeans, wrapped in neatly with a designer belt... collared shirt -- with the collar up behind his ears, of course... and pair of brown loafers.

And he wasn’t putting it on or anything, either. He was just in his natural state.

How do those Euro guys do it?

If that was me playing in his clothes, I’d have felt like I was in a straight jacket.

Is there a “fashion-plate” gene that’s carried over on the other side of the ocean, that’s missing here? Or is this “normal” and I’m the luddite who can’t get it together?

Are we American guys destined to wear baseball caps forever?

These are questions that are simply beyond my meager ability to figure out answers to.

Aw, what the hell -- it’s Friday -- all I should be thinking about is fishing and cigars anyway, right? And besides, I wrote the ad I’m talking about in today’s P.S. -- the one that TRIPLED my clients business -- I wrote that ad while sitting around the house in my underwear, so maybe... “looking good”... doesn’t really matter... after all?

Now go sell something, Craig Garber

P.S. On page 2 of this month’s Offline Seductive Selling Newsletter, I’ll show you an ad I wrote that TRIPLED a client’s business -- in the most economically depressed part of the state where he lives. In fact, you can listen to him tell you about it himself, at the top of this page: http://kingofcopy.com/testimonials.html - then go and test-drive my newsletter for free and get $1,391 Dollars worth of bonus gifts, right here: http://www.kingofcopy.com/ssnl