After years of working with hundreds of different clients, and frankly, after putting a good bit of effort into this on my own behalf, it’s become crystal clear that one of the things we all have to do to move forward, is forgive.
Now forgiveness is a strange thing. See, there are two kinds of forgiveness.
The first one is when you forgive other people for harming you.
This might mean forgiving parents for saying mean things or for smacking you around, even. It might mean forgiving your spouse for hurting you, or even forgiving your ex-spouse for cheating on you or something like that. It may even mean forgiving a schoolteacher for writing you off too early, without giving you a chance, or without understanding what you had to deal with on your side, behind the scenes.
The thing about this kind of forgiveness though, is that when you forgive someone, you don’t do it for them…. you forgive someone, for you. Because forgiveness is like an emotional cleanser that washes all the garbage away and clears the way for you to move forward.
It’s “instant closure.”
And when you can close the door on something that’s preventing you from moving on to the next chapter in your life, it means freedom.
Funny how if I could sell “instant closure” tablets, I’d be an overnight sensation — wealthy beyond belief. But this forgiveness thing — that ain’t so easy, is it?
Now there’s another kind of forgiveness that’s actually an even faster short-cut to the finish line, but this one’s really tough, especially for people like you and me, who are a lot more driven than the average bear… who expect a lot more out of life — and out of ourselves… and who have little tolerance for screwing up or failure.
This one is forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself for all the times you screwed something up — because you’re allowed to make a mistake. Forgiving yourself for wanting more than your parents or whoever, said you deserve — because after all, you deserve everything you earn, and probably a lot more. Plus, they had no right to make their own issues, your issues.
Forgiving yourself for being a better parent to your younger kids — hey, that’s just called experience. You’re probably a better driver than you were years ago, so why shouldn’t you be a better parent?
Forgiving yourself for running over the cat — you just didn’t see her. You’d never hurt anything intentionally, right?
And forgiving yourself for making that bad investment or business deal — after all, no one has hindsight ahead of time, and besides… that has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to succeed today, right?
Yesterday and today are mutually exclusive, unless YOU decide otherwise.
When you forgive yourself, you’re finally giving yourself the ultimate permission slip. The ultimate control that unshackles you from anything that’s been weighing down on you like a one-million pound weight pressing down on your head and shoulders and suffocating you like an iron twistee wrapped around a loaf of bread.
So breathe deep and forgive.
Have a nice weekend, Craig Garber
P.S. Check out “Desperation Is No Fool” in this month’s Seductive Selling Newsletter: http://www.kingofcopy.com/ssnl
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